67). The dust has only just begun to fall. Crop circles in the carpet; sinking, feeling...

(Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap)

Hello there. :) I've been so wrapped up in literature recently that I haven't had time to blog! (This is a first. Seriously. I'm like addicted to blogging and reading others' blogs. I'm amazed I didn't experience withdrawal symptoms.) Right now I'm reading Beautiful Boy by David Sheff, which is a hauntingly beautiful and painful recollection of a father's experience with his son's addiction to crystal meth. Since I've read said son's book of his own perspective during addiction (Tweak by Nic Sheff), this book is even more intriguing to me than it would be as a stand-alone experience because this novel fills in the bits and pieces missing from Nic's book and provides a deeper understanding of how much a disease affects not just the addicted person, but everyone around them, both physically and mentally. Though at times stark and abrasive, the text paints a vivid picture of pain, confusing, and, mostly, hurt, and makes the reader really sympathize with David and his family. The reader also becomes very attached to Nic, because it is obvious, through David's words, that he is a pure soul who simply took a wrong turn somewhere along the path of life, and that he is worthy of a better life. Overall, I recommend both books to anyone who has either experienced an addiction, known someone with an addiction, or is curious to learn more about the disease (there is quite a bit of factual information contained within the book, as well as extra resources cited.) PHEW.

Now that I'm thinking about it - why is it that drugs and their usage have become so glamorized in our society? A quick search of "drugs", for example, on weheartit.com brings up images such as the following, rather than pictures showing the destruction and harm caused by drugs (although I do admit to getting a chuckle out of the t-shirts in pic #2):

The negative (even deadly) side effects and consequences of drugs are preached to us through school, from parents, by the government, and even sometimes through media like TV and music, from a young age. Now that technology is heavily integrated into our lives and information is increasingly easy to access, you'd think that either the law enforcement officials would be able to catch the people creating/distributing/using drugs, or people would learn enough about them that they'd never want to touch them. 

However, I suppose that this ultra-easy and efficient way of accessing information also makes it easier for people to learn how to create and obtain drugs. Hmm. :/ All technology has it's pros and cons, I suppose... WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

Also: I'd like to post something I wrote a few years ago that I think really exemplifies my feelings recently. This has been a fucking weird July, and I can honestly say that I've experienced more emotions in the last couple of weeks than I have in my entire life up until then. Tell me what you think:

Untitled (by me)
Maybe you should begin to apologize for all that you've done wrong.
Fucked up, but it's okay - they'll forgive you in the end.
I never will.

Forget the flashing headlights and the screeching owls and brakes and cats outside your window when we were making love by your TV set.
And I loved you once upon a time, ago... forgotten.

Now it's just baggy shirts and bleeding ink to remind me of how I spent the month of December.
Oh, sure, baby, you're beautiful; oh, sure, baby, you're not so sure.
And I'm not so sure I want to have anything to do with you.

It's a shore thing...barefoot and bleeding, I cast you into tumbling waters and left you to drown.
Now all I need to do is dress these wounds.

And that was how I spent the month of December.


Apologies for the wordiness of this post. I've got a lot on my mind. Also - I'm working on a story currently, and I hope to post bits of it throughout the next while as I work to finish it.

Leave a comment! :)


  1. i don't think i'll ever truly understand the appeal behind "heroine chic" circa 2005... perhaps drugs are some sort of symbol for the anti-hero?

    hope you're feeling better lately <3

  2. awwwweh kyki
    i'm returning that virtual hug /HUGS (:
    thanks babe
    i rly hope our lives will just calm down a bit
    and i agree
    it HAS been a fucking weird july :/

    hmm.. regarding your post i think drugs and everything labeled "bad" has definitely been glamourized by our society and our generation. we gain more and more freedom and sometimes abusing that freedom is translated as being cool or being "us" (who we are as youth in the culture).

    you know me
    i'm tempted
    by all these flashy images of thin girls smoking with dramatic smudged black liner on their eyes
    and music lyrics
    and social norms (hey a girl of 16 is supposed to have gotten drunk and party at least ONCE in her life, no?!)

    but really even tho i'm tempted and interested
    i've never had the opportunity

    i'm outside of that social norm bc the ppl i'm surrounded by are straightlaced and have good heads on their shoulders
    (ib students, duh.)

    i kinda even wish i COULD get drunk and go to an actual party instead of having dinners and talking to ppl who only talk about intellect

    not saying that ib students are smart
    cuz they srsly arent

    and yeah there's a lot of drama behind the scenes even with ib students

    i can testify to that

    BUT we will never try drugs/get our hands on drugs

    bc we're so separated from the regular kids.

    like where will we even get drugs?!!!


    I think your poem is great. (: you are so damn talented, kyki! can't wait to read your story.

    love x

  3. Random reader: You know, I think technology has caused a string of problems that we further try to correct with, you guessed it, technology. Don't get me wrong: I like technology; my Xbox, my cell, my laptop. But it is sad. I think man has created something it finally doesn't fully understand. It's beginning to more now, maybe, but we certainly had no idea what the heck we were doing when we created the World Wide Web... No law can 100% cage the beast we call "interweb." And so it does make the availability of such things as drugs and bomb-making and whatnot scarily available.

  4. Hey! Thanks for reading my blog (however much or little you did! :D). Means a lot.

    But about technology. A suggested read? "Technopoly" by Neil Postman. It's a good read. It's a book about different technologies and their pros and (mostly) cons on societies throughout the ages.

    And thanks! I had similar thoughts about your writing! Unique, fun, and surreal. hahaha! ^_^ It's awesome. :3


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...No, seriously. I love you.

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