044. | Goodbye, you suck, never really liked you.

Boys are gross.

Boys are loud, obnoxious, sports-obsessed, Dorito-munching, violent, unhygenic, selfish, sex-crazed, tactless creatures. (I, of course, am generalizing. I'm sure there are a few of em out there SOMEWHERE that don't totally suck. And no, gay boys don't count.)


Things About Guys That Really Make Me Question God's Authority to Be the Creator

01. Their tendency to think that dousing yourself in cologne will replace a good ol fashioned shower. Not only can I smell you from 5 provinces away, I will treat you like a dog that got into the garbage and ate some rank grub.


02. Their complete obsession with video games and sports. Oh, so excessive violence and semi-automatics are funny? Guess Ghandi was wrong.

And those guys that are obsessed with sports video games? Apparently, they've spent so much time in front of the flatscreen that they no longer have enough brain cells to distinguish between the two.

03. Their inability to look at anything other than our boobs. If you like them so much, GET YOUR OWN PAIR. It's just one easy operation. You're a man, you can handle the pain. Hey, while you're at it, why don't ya try out the good ol ovaries? They're a real kicker!

04. They kiss&tell. No, I don't really want your best friends knowing I'm more than just a cowgirl on the ranch and I ride you all night long.

05. The fact that they think getting wasted every night, puking your guts out, and sleeping with random women before passing out and having penises drawn all over your face is something to brag about. (Really? You're that insecure?)

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